What's Your Poison?
by TeamAlphaQ
Summary: Girls night out might sound like a good idea, but is it really? Ridiculous CreepyPasta one shot. Some of these characters belong to IamDeadGhost. Rated T for language.


**A/N: This is a one shot that I originally wrote for/with IamDeadGhost. After a well thought out (split second) decision, we agreed to post it.**

 **Several of these characters ( Miles, Spectra, Jessica, Drunk Jane) are IamDeadGhost's creation. I'm not quite that brilliant.**

 **Anyways enjoy!**

"Come on Spectra."

"No." She was really getting tired of this.

"It's just a girl's night out, it'll be fun." _You know, that's what she always says…_

"NO!" Spectra willed Jane to just shut up already but sadly, she had help.

Clockwork tossed her long brown hair out of her good eye and grinned. "Jane's got a point Spectra; it's up to us to make sure you _have_ fun once in a while."

Spectra fixed her green eyed friend with an incredulous look. Thanks to Miles' low tolerance for alcohol, the bar scene had never really been hers. "Tell me what part of getting drunk in a bar has _ever_ sounded fun to you?"

"All of it." Zero announced from her seat by the large bay window overlooking a, now familiar, dreary vista.

"This is a bad idea…" She started warningly, a last ditch attempt to change her friends' minds.

"But you're coming with us, right?" Jane clarified, brows furrowed.

Her friends all watched her eagerly, waiting for her response. Looking over her shoulder to the fireplace, Spectra wished that Miles was sitting there so she wouldn't have to go. Unfortunately, Spectra could tell at once that she was going to lose this fight (she always did). If her friends wanted to drag her into a rundown part of god knows where and get hammered, then woe betide anyone who got in their way.

That included those they wanted to take. In her position, it was best to give in before they decided to drug her and take her anyway.

"Fine." Throwing her hands to the ceiling in surrender, Spectra gave in.

"I knew you'd come around." Jane said with a grin of victory. "Now, you're going to have to change."

Spectra's eyes widened in shock. Yup, she was definitely not going to enjoy this.

* * *

"No, there is nothing in the over or under world that could get me to where that." Face to face with the lime green equivalent of death, Spectra was starting to wish she'd put up a better fight. The dress was sparkly, which was only the beginnings of the horror. The low scoop neckline and fluttery knee length skirt, which might have looked good on Jane or Clock, did not quite translate to her. To make matters worse, Jane had a pair of three inch matching high heels.

"Come on Spectra, it's just a dress." Jane attempted to reassure with an airy wave of her hand as she touched up her full lips with black lipstick.

It could have been said that Jane was not particularly good at assuaging other's fears, but that would have been an understatement. The fact stood that she was downright terrible at it.

"Just a dress?" Spectra squeaked out through dumbfounded incredulity. " _Just a dress?_ That is _not_ just a dress! That is the very definition of torture."

Jane rolled her eyes and turned back to her mirror, in which she was meticulously applying mascara to her already gorgeous lashes. "Stop being so melodramatic. You'll survive."

"I'll survive in my _own_ clothes!" Spectra insisted. With a sigh Jane put down her makeup and turned around, an eyebrow raised. "They look fine," Spectra added, this time at a mumble.

Gracefully, Jane sashayed over to where Spectra stood and delicately picked at her green leather jacket. "Spectra, I'm not letting you wear _this_ out."

"What's so wrong with it?"

"It's disgraceful," sniffed Jane as though with those words, Spectra would just give up. Clearly she wasn't giving credit where credit was due.

"You're one to talk; you wear the same dress all the time." Spectra shot back, unwilling to give in to something this outrageous. Drinking was one thing, dresses were uncharted territory.

Jane smiled knowingly. "I wear it when I'm _working_ Spectra, I don't treat it like a security blanket."

"Shut up!" Jane could really be a bitch sometimes. Unfortunately, she was right. Spectra didn't like to have a lot of skin showing because, due to her disease, it was an almost bluish white. People tended to ask questions more often than not.

"I'm doing what's best for you." Jane exclaimed, running a few slender fingers through her curly black locks and frowning almost imperceptibly as if she had found something not to her taste. "You're wearing that dress."

"You know what Jane, go to hell!"

Clockwork chose that moment to throw open the door and walk in. It was an effort for Spectra to keep her jaw from dropping. "You still trying to coax her into the dress?" She asked mischievously.

"Clock, what are you wearing?" Spectra asked faintly unsure if she was seeing things or not.

"Oh, this?" Clockwork pinched some of the shiny red fabric between two fingers. "It's just something I picked up somewhere."

The dress was made of a slinky crimson material that caught every bit of light and used it to glow. It hung down to Clockwork's ankles on one side and rose steeply on the other, showing, in Spectra's opinion, way too much creamy grey skin. A sloping v neck and low black pumps completed the image.

Jane grinned at her green eyed friend. "I love it on you, as always."

"I know right." Clockwork agreed enthusiastically. "So, whatcha wearing Jane?"

"Oh, you know my usual." Jane ran to her closet eagerly and withdrew a strapless black dress with a gold belt whose skirt probably didn't even reach mid-thigh on her.

As the two girls made similar squeals of excitement, Spectra stumbled over to Jane's rumpled bed and took a seat. Maybe sticking with Miles and Toby all the time wouldn't have been such a bad idea. If only she had taken them up on their offer earlier…

"Okay, let's see what you've managed to coerce Spectra into wearing." Zero strode into the room wearing a silver explosion of satin that revealed more than it covered. "Nothing? Jane, I expected better of you."

"I've tried okay!" Jane protested. "If she keeps acting like this I'm pretty sure we're gonna have to sedate her and get her dressed that way."

 _Please,_ Spectra begged silently, _please let them all drop dead or something._

No such luck. It seemed there would be no easy way out of it this time. "Come on Spectra," begged Clockwork. "It's just one night in a dress. How bad could it be?"

 _Hell on earth?_ She resisted suggesting. Even as she sat there, she could feel her resolve slipping away. "But what if someone sees me?" She at last squeaked.

Jane's throaty laugh boded ill, "Don't be silly Spectra, that's the whole _point._ "

 _No, no, no. I'm not doing this, this isn't happening._ Even as those dissenting words ran through her head, Spectra found herself giving in. "Fine, I'll wear it…"

"I knew you'd come round!" Exclaimed Jane. "Now, are we meeting Judge Angel at the bar or not?"

* * *

 _Shit, I'm going to sprain my ankle. This is going to result in a full body cast. I'm going to fall and die. I'm going to-_

"Come on Spectra, they aren't that high. You can take bigger steps." Jane insisted with an expansive eye roll. _Easy for you to say_ , Spectra thought furiously, _you've had practice!_

"Eh, at least she's wearing them." Zero said with a shrug. "That's more than I expected out of her."

"But the least she could do is treat it like a pair of shoes and not torture devices." Jane complained haughtily.

Clockwork sighed and, with a smile, linked arms with Jane. "Calm down Jane, she'll get better with time. Besides," She said with an evil twinkle in her eye. "Are you really going to let Spectra's skill in high heels ruin our night of fun? We'll _all_ be stumbling around like idiots by the end of tonight if I have anything to say about it."

"Agreed." Zero exclaimed. "So just let it go Jane."

As her friends all hurried to the grimy doors of the run down bar Spectra couldn't help but wonder how much worse the night was going to get. Surely there was a limit to the torture her friends could put her through.

"Come on Spectra!" Clockwork exclaimed with a wave as a scruffy looking man held the door for her. "Hurry up or there won't be enough time to get properly hammered!"

 _Oh yes,_ She thought with a sigh _a whole lot worse._

* * *

As soon as she stepped through the doors, the smell of sour alcohol met her nose. Dingy lights barely provided any illumination whatsoever for the room. The floor probably hadn't been washed since last year and the clientele reflected that sorry state.

All in all, it was _just_ the sort of place Jane would drag a group of odd looking serial killers to. No weird questions, no awkward answers. Of course there were stares, but those were generally directed towards the neck down.

 _Oh God, I'm going to die of embarrassment._ Spectra thought in humiliation as she attempted not to look at the hungry looking men that were trying to catch her eye. _Make it STOP!_

"Oh my gosh, could you guys have taken _any_ longer?" Spectra's attention was instantly focused on a girl in a tight, white, cocktail dress that was seated at the bar, as close to the door as possible.

"Angel!" Jane and Clockwork squealed simultaneously before running over to their blond friend and exchanging hugs.

"This one's slow in heels." Zero drawled by way of explanation, nodding to Spectra.

Judge Angel took one look at Spectra and one hand instantly flew up to stifle a laugh. "Holy shit, how did you manage that one Jane?"

 _Oh yes, laugh at me, because that makes everything_ so _much better._ "Shut up Angel." Spectra grumbled as she stumbled to the bar and gratefully took a seat.

"What's your poison?" Asked the stooped bartender without looking away from the glass he was cleaning with a filthy rag.

Spectra didn't bother ordering. She didn't understand what half of the stupid names on the menu meant and Jane would probably talk over her and order for her even if she did. As Jane rattled off their orders Spectra picked at the too low neckline of her dress self-consciously. What she wouldn't have given for her usual attire…

"Here y'go." The bartender slapped an unidentifiable drink before Spectra with another few mutters. She lifted it up and looked at the dusty pink color dubiously. _Ah well,_ She thought resignedly. _At least it'll take the edge off this shitty night._

"So how's everything back at the mansion?" Angel asked with a toss of her short blond hair and a sip of her drink.

"Well you know, we had to have a girls night out so what do you think." Jane asked with a giggle.

"Oh come on Jane, you think everything is cause for a girls night out." Zero joked with a throaty laugh.

"She's got a point." Clockwork pointed with a crooked grin.

Jane's grin was covered over by a melodramatic groan. "That's right, gang up on me."

At some point during the conversation Spectra gave up listening. If it was possible to be small talked to death, it was going to happen to her.

Her first glass of burning sweetness disappeared in a haze of dirty smoke all too quickly for her liking but another one replaced it almost at once, this one a dark blue. Spectra stared at her reflected and distorted amethyst eyes in her drink with an air of despondency. These nights always ended the same way, her dragging her tipsy friends out of the bar, away from another glass and a sleazy male who didn't care about anything but what her friends had under their all too tight skirts (concealed blades, to those who were wondering). She hated her fate but saw no way out of it.

And she knew that Miles would laugh at her in the morning, because that was just another part of these hellish nights.

Of course this one was worse than normal. They'd never made her wear a dress before…

The sound of the door being opened brought her head around. The sight of the silver haired girl that walked through the doors caused Spectra's eyes to widen and flick nervously to Angel, who was currently giggling helplessly at something Jane had said. As if drawn by the presence of her no-longer-best friend, Angel's head spun and her eyes narrowed.

"Well if it isn't Jessica, I don't remember anyone inviting _you_." She spat venomously. Jessica narrowed her brown eyes to match her ex-friend's but said nothing. Instead she slowly meandered over to the bar and pulled up a stool, purposely placing herself between Jane and Angel.

"Ladies, ladies please." Zero's voice was laced with humor. "You're both pretty. Let's not get into another cat fight here."

"Gotta agree with you here." Clock affirmed as she downed whatever she'd been drinking at once. "We're not having a repeat of last time."

"One way for us not to have a repeat of last time would have been for you not to show up at all." Angel's voice was low and annoyed.

Jessica turned away from Angel, much to the blond's irritation and instead addressed Spectra. "What on earth are you wearing?" Her tone was one of carefully even curiosity.

"It's called a dress Jess." Angel drawled sarcastically. "You might want to try wearing one someday."

Clockwork threw back her head and laughed. "The day that Jessica wears a dress will be the day the world ends." The gathered girls joined in Clocks mirth.

Jessica scowled. "I've worn a dress before and I could again. I just chose not to."

"Doubt it did you any favors." This fresh comment of Judge Angel's finally prompted Jessica to spin around.

"Do you have something you want to say to me?" She asked coolly.

"Yeah actually I do." Cocking her head to the side and narrowing her eyes once more, Angel said. "I want you to get out. This is supposed to be a relaxing night that I'm spending with my _friends_ and you're interrupting it."

With a shrug Jessica shouted something at the bartender in a mix of English and a language Spectra didn't recognize before turning back to Angel to reason, "I've been told this is a free country. There's nothing that says I can't be here but you and frankly, you're not scaring me. Especially in that white thing you call a dress."

Returning with a glass of alcohol for Jessica the bartender looked at the two disputing females and asked, "Girls, if you're gonna fight, please take it outside."

"Better yet," Jane's eyes lit up with evil excitement. "Let's have a different type of battle."

Zero raised her eyebrows. "Jane I swear if you're talking about a drinking game-" A grin coated her features, "Then you're talking my language."

"Of course I'm talking about a drinking game!" She exclaimed in excitement. "Come on, first person to pass out loses."

Angel shrugged. "Eh, I'm game. What about you Nazi?"

Jessica's eyes suddenly narrowed to slits and blazed with fire. "When this is over, I'll make sure you eat those words."

And thus the game begun. Shot glasses began piling up as each round upped the number. Every now and then Jane or Zero would steal a glass for themselves but the majority of the drinks were consumed by the two girls doing battle.

"This is stupid." Muttered Spectra into her third brightly colored drink. "Why are they even doing this?"

"You know as well as I do that they don't like each other." Clockwork said with a sip of her seventh drink of the night. "At least they aren't leveling any buildings this way."

"They've never leveled a building before though." Protested Spectra.

"There's always a first." Zero called as she stole another shot.

Spectra shook her head and turned to look out the grimy window, as though this could help her forget the idiotic actions of her friends. The scene outside the glass was one of darkened pavement and flickering street lamps. She was tempted to slip out now while the others were otherwise occupied but she was worried that she might never hear from her friends (or the men they ended up killing) again.

No, she would stay, and wish she was anywhere but where she actually was.

* * *

"And the winner is Jessica!" Announced Jane from around the dozens of shot glasses that littered the counter-top.

Angel, who had finally given up, lay slumped against Zero, conscience, but only just. She was clearly still upset about Jessica's presence but probably didn't have enough brain cells awake to protest further. The Bartender, who had been watching their game in amusement , had brought the thoroughly drunk Angel a disgusting looking plate of snacks to 'soak up some of that alcohol'. It was a nice gesture but it seemed wasted on Spectra's wasted friend.

Despite their game, Jessica seemed to be perfectly fine. There was so little change in fact, that Jane had actually asked her several times whether she was actually drinking the stuff at all.

"I just have a better tolerance than most people." Was all Jessica would say on the matter.

Angel grumbled out something unintelligible and rolled her eyes, too drunk to clarify her words. Jane however, seemed to speak fluent drunk (probably because she was so often intoxicated herself) and repeated Angel's words in a much more understandable way.

"Being German would _definitely_ explain it." At Jane's words Jessica growled softly.

"What did you say?" She spat.

"Only that you're German." Jane said with a shrug. "The accent makes it kind of obvious."

"I do _not_ have an accent!" Jessica shouted furiously. In a German accent.

"Geez, calm down," Jane insisted, eyes wide. "Don't get your lederhosen in a twist."

"Will you just _shut up_?" The fury in the silver haired girl's voice was rising at a constant and steep rate.

"Why don't you yell at us in German," Jane suggested, clearly enjoying herself. "It would sound meaner."

"Okay, let's stop." cut in Spectra quickly, before Jane could needle their friend any further.

"Oh come on Spectra…" Wined Jane.

"No!" She stared at her friends in cool frustration. "Truth is, Jessica is German and you're a bitch to mention it Jane." That shut her up at once.

Jessica gave Spectra a grateful look before announcing, "Let's not fight, after all, before she passed out didn't Judge Angel say something about having fun?"

"Cheers to that!" Clockwork agreed. "I came here to get drunk with my friends, not fight."

And, much to Spectra's disappointment, getting drunk is just what they did.

Miles

"Do either of you have any idea where Jane went?" Miles looked up from his conversation with Toby to cock an eyebrow at Jeff's question.

"Nope." Miles said with a shrug. "Can't say that I have."

"I heard they're having a 'girls night out'." EJ called from across the room.

Toby shook his head. "I'll never understand why they find the need to go to run down bars and get drunk. Is it some sort of ritual or something?"

"Beats me." Jeff said as he sat between Toby and Miles. "Jane seems to have a real affinity for alcohol though so it doesn't really surprise me."

"As does Clocky." Toby said with a twitch and a laugh. "Oh well, I'm sure they'll get back in one piece."

"The other guys at the bar, not so much." Added the Puppeteer from his seat beside EJ.

Miles mulled over the idea of Spectra in a bar and honestly couldn't picture it. During those contemplations though, he couldn't' help but feel an idea bubble to the surface. "Hey, what's say we go and crash their party?"

Jeff perked up at that idea. "I'm down for that."

With a grin that glowed gold Puppet chimed in. "Count me in. I wonder how drunk they are at this point."

Looking up from his drawing pad, The Bloody Painter rolled his blue eyes with a sigh and reasoned, "They can't be _that_ drunk."

"I wouldn't put it past them." Toby said. "Oh, and count me in as well. I'd pay to see Clock cut the fingers off the first guy who tries something."

Setting his papers aside Painter shrugged. "Eh, why not, I'll come."

"Excellent!" Exclaimed Jeff, as if the whole plan had been his idea. "You coming Jack?"

"Naw." EJ shrugged. "Not really my thing."

"Your loss." Joked Miles as he got to his feet, still trying to picture Spectra laughing and chatting with a group of girls. "Come on, we have a party to crash."

Spectra

"Hey, cut me some slack! Punching him was the first thing I could think to do!" Jane's loud voice was drowned out by wild laughter from the rest of Spectra's intoxicated friends. Spectra didn't quite understand what was so funny about the story, but then, she wasn't nearly as drunk. Actually, compared to the other girls, she was practically sober.

The other girls had probably each consumed enough alcohol to inebriate a horse. The only one who had stopped drinking was Angel, and that was only after throwing up and passing out on the counter. Spectra couldn't help but hope her other friends followed suit. The whole bar scene really wasn't her thing.

 _Someday_ , she thought dismally, _The whole lot of them are going to drop dead from alcohol poisoning._ But probably not before subjegating her to many nights more of torture.

Her despondent reflections were brought to an abrupt halt when someone put a heavy hand on her waist. _Oh shit-_

"Hey girl." The person behind her was definitely drunk and smelled disgusting. "What's a purtty little thing like you doin' here?" The man's breath was uncomfortably hot on her neck, despite her long blue hair covering it.

Resisting the urge to break the offending male's fingers, Spectra ground out in the nicest voice she could muster, "Having fun with my girlfriends." _This is all Jane's fault_ Spectra thought viciously. _No one ever paid attention to me when I wore normal clothes._

"What's say you and I go have _fun_ somewhere else." _Drop dead._ Spectra thought as her stomach rebelled.

"No thanks. I'm with my friends and I'm not really in the mood." Staring at her drink more intensely, she willed the man to go away. She would _not_ lose her temper and she would _not_ reach inside his chest and crush his heart. Jane would kill her if she ruined the night.

"I'm sure we could change that." He leered.

"I'm sure you couldn't." At the sound of that soft menacing voice Spectra felt relief pour through her. He really did have impeccable timing.

"Who're you?" The drunk snarled, still not taking his hand off of Spectra's hip.

Miles pulled Spectra away from the drunk with a smirk. "Her boyfriend." Mismatched eyes met cloudy brown and the man at last stumbled back, mumbling something unintelligible.

"Nice knowing you." He called after the intoxicated male.

With a roll of her eyes Spectra pulled away from Miles and muttered, "A second more and I'd have broken something." Looking him up and down, Spectra couldn't help but ask, "What're you doing here anyw-"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Spectra turned to find that Miles wasn't the only one who had decided to show up. Jane was currently glaring daggers at Jeff as he leaned against the bar.

"Miss me princess?" He asked with a wide smirk. Spectra could see Jane's fingers twitching towards one of her hidden knives and she prayed her inebriated friend wouldn't do anything stupid.

"This was _supposed_ to be a girls night out." Jane growled in anger.

"Not anymore." Toby announced with a laugh as he tilted Clock's head back to place a kiss on her forehead.

"Besides," The Bloody Painter's tone was one of slight alarm as he gently prodded Angel's sleeping face. "I think you've had enough fun."

"I don't care what you think!" Jane hissed at Jeff, fingers already pulling out one of her blades. "It's not polite to come to a party without being invited."

"Easy sunshine." Jeff looked a little apprehensive of his girlfriend. "Let's not do anything stupid."

"Yeah Jane," Jessica agreed. "Technically I crashed your party too."

"That's different!" Shouted Jane.

"Come on Jane!" Zero had somehow managed to find her way into Puppet's lap and she looked as pleased as punch about it. "We got drunk and had fun. Let's not get kicked out now."

Narrowing her eyes, Jane finally relinquished her hold on the knife's hilt and turned back to her drink. "Fine, whatever."

"So," Spectra turned back around to find that Miles had commandeered a stool and was examining her critically. "You know _ghost girl_ , it's easier to be invisible while not wearing something like that."

"I blame Jane." Spectra immediately said.

"This isn't your usual _haunt_." Miles commented, craining his neck to look around.

 _Oh ha ha._ Sometimes Miles' puns were unbearable.

"You're entirely _transparent_ , I can _see_ you plotting to kill me."

"If you make one more pun I will." She threatened. "And to answer your question, I don't like it but I'm here more than you'd think."

"I find that hard to believe." Miles said with a laugh. Holding up Spectra's untouched drink he asked, "How do they make it turn colors like that? It looks disgusting, and yet somehow pretty."

"After the first one, it _is_ gross." She confirmed. The two of them were interrupted by the shuffling bartender.

"Can I get y'somthing?" He asked.

"Naw." Miles waved his offer away. "Alcohol isn't really my thing."

"Then why the hell are you here?" The bartender asked, his words more clear than they had been all night.

"That's a good point!" Exclaimed Miles. "Spectra, is there any reason for us staying?"

Spectra bit her lip and looked and her friends. Toby and Clockwork appeared to be sharing a drink and laughing about something. Jeff and Jane were (surprise) arguing and Painter was trying to wake Angel up. She wasn't even sure where Puppet and Zero had gone.

"Jessica?" Spectra called to her friend. "Would you mind telling the other girls that I left."

With a small smile she nodded. "If they ask."

Slipping off her stool Spectra nearly twisted an ankle as she tried to walk. "Let me guess," Miles said, catching her arm with a laugh. "Jane?"

"Clockwork." She grumbled as, with Miles' help she walked to the door. As soon as the cold night air hit her, Spectra shivered and gratefully gulped in lungfuls of air that wasn't stale. "God, why do I even go with them anywhere?"

"Beats me." Miles said with a shrug. "You look nice in that dress by the way."

Feeling her face warming slightly Spectra looked down and shook her head. "Thanks, I guess. But don't get used to it, this is the first and last time."

With a laugh Miles strode on ahead of her and said, "I prefer your normal clothes though. Fewer drunks try to claim you."

With a laugh Spectra slipped her sore feet out of her high heels and ran to catch up. "Can we go back to the mansion now? I miss my jacket."

Casually slipping his hand into hers Miles agreed. "Yeah, let's."

Back at the Bar

"It's my drink!" Jane shouted furiously as Jeff stole her drink and finished it. "Get your own or better yet, get out."

"Fuck off princess, you don't need to drink anymore." Jeff smirked down at her.

Jessica snorted. "I remember the last time _that_ happened."

Jeff laughed incredulously. " _You_ remember? Don't even get me _started_ on that. Try getting pulled over and nearly arrested because of her. Oh and then there was the time she nearly-"

"Shut the hell up!" Jane's voice was bordering on deafening. "We are _not_ talking about that."

"I was just using it as an example." Jeff insisted with a laugh. "Don't even try to deny it."

Grumbling, Jane ordered a new drink and attempted to ignore the bane of her existence. Not such an easy task, considering the fact that his arm was looped around her waist.

As the bartender slid her fresh drink across the counter Jeff grabbed it before she got the chance. "I'm serious, you're drunk."

"Oh, so that just gives you permission to steal my drink?" Jane asked fiercely.

"Yes actually." Jeff announced in a cocky tone. "You gonna fight me over it?"

"Do it one more time and I will asshole." Jane shot back.

"Give her drink back." Clockwork said with a laugh. "Get your own."

"But I like Jane's better." Jeff complained with a whine.

"Come on Jeff, we've already interrupted their plans for getting absolutely hammered, the least you could do is let them finish their own drinks." Toby laughed.

With an expressive eyeroll Jeff gave in. "Fine, I'll get my own pretty colored drink." Careless in his mirth, Jeff accidentally splashed some raspberry colored liquid onto Jane's dress.

"Watch what you're doing you bastard." Jane yelled furiously, shoving Jeff's arm off of her and getting to her feet. "You probably just ruined my favorite dress." With that she stormed off towards the restroom in the hopes of repairing the damage before it was too late.

Ignoring the sounds of Puppet and Zero doing _something_ that were coming from the closet next door, Jane hurried into the ladies room. Grabbing a handful of paper towels, she attempted to blot out the drink, all the while cursing Jeff with every swear word she knew.

At last satisfied it wasn't going to get any better, Jane finished her rant with, "I'm going to kill that asshole." and left the restroom. Jeff was standing right outside the door, a penitent expression on his face. _Oh no,_ Jane thought furiously, _I'm not listening to your excuses._

"Look, Jane, I'm sorry about spilling your drink. I should've been more careful." He sounded genuinely apologetic.

"You never should have come at all." Jane hissed, trying to ignore the sounds coming from the closet behind her.

"In my defence it was Miles' idea to crash your party but I came to make sure nothing happened to you." Jane bit her lip at his words. Jeff rarely admitted that he actually cared about her safety.

"Sorry, I just assumed you wanted to make my life difficult as usual." Jane muttered as she averted her eyes.

"I don't actually want to make your life difficult." Jeff said softly. "You just seem to enjoy play fighting."

He did have a point. If he suddenly decided to be polite she might worry that something was wrong. "You're right, I'd get bored."

"Same here. Your feisty attitude is one of the best parts about you." Jane took a moment to realize that for the first time in a long while, Jeff and her were actually having a serious conversation. Not that she wanted to make it a habit or anything but the change was nice.

Jeff's phone buzzed loudly, interrupting their talk. "Oh, that's Ben." Jeff said as he looked at the message.

"What's he saying?" Jane asked curiously.

"Nothing." Jeff hurriedly stuffed the phone into the pocket of his hoodie. "It has nothing to do with you."

 _You are such a bad liar_ , Jane thought as she loudly demanded, "Give me the phone."

Jeff laughed but there was a serious note to it. "Not a chance princess."

Quick as a snake, Jane reached into Jeff's pocket and stole his phone, dashing over to the bar so he couldn't take it back. As she reached the bar and took a seat she finally read the text with a grin.

 _Hey buddy, your sex tape it ready. Now I see what you see in her. Gotta say nice cleavage_

For a moment, Jane's expression turned pale and she froze in her spot unable to make a move.

Jessica took the opportunity to glance over her shoulder at the screen. Stifling a laugh, she whispered, "You will _never_ be able to look at Ben the same way."

"JEFF!" Jane screamed, absolutely livid. Jeff, who had been attempting to sneak out of the bar before the fallout froze and slowly turned around.

"What's wrong?" Clockwork reached over and snached the phone away from Jane. "Oh my god... " Her giggles tumbled from between her fingers as she showed the text to Toby.

Jane didn't even care that everyone was reading the text, she was too busy drawing her hidden blades out and advancing on Jeff. "If you're going to mess with the bull, you're going to get the horns!" Her last word was a lunge as she struck for Jeff's throat.

"Woah, calm down princess." Jeff darted backwards, just missing a table in the process.

"Oh yes, _calm down_! Because that's _definitely_ what you expect me to do after finding out that you had _BEN_ make a fucKING SEX TAPE OF US!"

"If you want to let the world know, that's your choice." Jeff said as he drew his own knife, just barely deflecting hers.

"I'm going to kill you!" She shrieked as she struck at him again and again, murder on her mind.

"Jane!" Yelped Clockwork from the bar. "Please don't kill Jeff."

Ignoring her, Jane continued to viciously attack Jeff with unbridled fury. It was all Jeff could do to not get sliced to ribbons.

Meanwhile, the other drunken idiots that populate the bar had decided to panic. Apparently a little knife fight was too much for them to handle. In a hoard, they all tried to run to the doors. Sadly, their brains were too soaked in alcohol to remember what they were supposed to be scared of.

Utter pandemonium.

Fully circling back to the bar, Jeff, leapt onto the countertop to avoid Jane. She followed, still yelling all manner of profanity at him. As they fought on the bar top, Jessica, Clockwork and Toby all moved away from it, not wanting to be killed in the crossfire. Painter dragged Angel out of the way.

She chose that moment to regain consciousness. "Wh-what?"

"Jeff pissed off a drunk Jane!" Clockwork had to yell to be heard over the other fights going on in the establishment. Angel's eyes widened in fear.

"HEY!" A shotgun blast shocked everyone but Jane into stillness. She was still bent on killing Jeff.

"YOU, STOP!" The bartender leveled his shotgun at Jane. Noticing this, Jeff forwent his own safety in favor of tackling Jane so she wouldn't be blown to hell. She struggled but Jeff quickly wrested the knives from her and pinned her down to keep her from hurting him.

"I want everyone of you out of this bar!" Shouted the bartender, gruff voice a thing of the past. Fixing his beady eyes on Jane, who was currently pinned underneath Jeff he growled, "And I never want to see you here again."

Giving up her attempts at killing Jeff, Jane narrowed her eyes and quickly snached one of her knives back from Jeff. Without warning she threw it, nailing the bartender between the eyes. Everything was silent for a moment but for the slump of the body and the bang of the shotgun as it hit the floor.

Then all hell broke loose as the majority of the people in the bar fled, all screaming in terror. Probably summoned by the bartender before his unfortunate end, police sirens could be heard in the distance.

Zero and Puppet chose that moment to walk out of the closet. Both of them looked severely rumpled and quite confused. "What's going on?" Zero called over the noise.

"We're leaving!" Jeff announced. Without giving Jane a chance to protest, Jeff got off of her before picking her up and slinging her over his shoulder. "Now."

Even as Jane shrieked bloody murder at the world, the group of CreepyPasta's fled the bar, Zero and Clockwork struggling not to twist an ankle in the process. As they ran, Zero shouted, "I'm starting to think this is a bad idea."

"You think?" Jeff shouted back incredulously.

Spectra

"Much better." Spectra breathed a sigh of relief as she finally finished changing back into her normal clothes. The rumpled dress and evil shoes lay in a pile on the floor and she didn't feel like fixing that. Jane should have known better than to make her wear something like that.

"Finished changing?" Called Miles from outside the room. Smiling, Spectra got to her feet and walked to the door. Opening it, she grinned up at Miles.

"Yup. Remind me to never do that again."

"Never do that again." He advised at once.

Glowering at him Spectra muttered, "You know what I meant."

Grinning widely Miles followed Spectra down the stairs. Spectra was grinning as well. It was hard to stay annoyed at Miles.

The sound of the front door of the mansion getting thrown open quickened her pace at once. Spectra already knew what she'd find, before even getting to the bottom of the stairs. She was not disappointed.

Standing in the foyer were all of her friends that she had left at the bar. They all wore various expressions of panic and exhaustion. Angel, Zero and Clockwork were all barefoot and wearing expressions of pain. Puppet was clutching his side and wheezing and Toby looked exhausted as well. And at the center of it all was Jeff, face flushed with effort, holding Jane over one shoulder.

WIth a grunt he dumped Jane at Spectra's feet. After spending a minute reorienting herself Jane looked up at Spectra and coughed out, "Fuck, I hate to admit it, but you were right. I'm sorry."

"About What?" She asked quizzically.

Jane hacked again before at last choking out. "Going to the bar, that was a horrible idea."

Raising her eyebrows with a smile, Spectra couldn't help but sound smug as she said, "It was only an evening wasted for me."

"Yeah, ladies…" She addressed the others. "Until further notice, girls night out is being put on hold." Upon those words Jane covered her mouth and made a small noise before being violently sick right there before her friend.

Unable to hold back her snicker, Spectra looked at Jeff. "Looks like you're girlfriend needs help. Miles and I are…?"

"Leaving!" Careful to avoid the large group of people, Miles pulled Spectra around everything and out the door.

"Goodbye, have fun with your hangovers!" Okay, that was mean but they deserved it.

 _~Fin~_

 **A/N: After this, I swear, I'm adding Drunk Jane into all my stories. She's really something.**

 **Seriously, why have I not seen her elsewhere! More people should write about Jane getting hammered.**

 **Just a thought, because, you know, I have those sometimes.**


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